Late night self indulgent musings

Just as I was finally drifting off to sleep to the dulcit tones of the rain falling on our roof (finally!) I heard the sounds of something furry nesting in the roof or wall just above our heads. Hopefully said ruffling was a possum rather than a rat or mouse. Mr B will be on the job first thing in the morning. But now I am most wide awake. I have had a somewhat unsettling few days and find myself pondering all sorts of things!

In no particular order:

Mr B and I watched the Illusionist tonight. A good but not great movie. Jessica Biel looked really different in that movie. Has she had some work done of late? A facelift, nose job or mouth job perhaps? Maybe it was just the make up. Not sure. I do have a penchant for Ed Norton. His accent was not so great in this particular movie. I do however forgive him as he is otherwise a most accomplished actor and director. Intelligent and Handsome. I would struggle to choose between him, Keanu Reeves and Justin Timberlake if they all presented themselves to me and Mr B granted me a get out of jail free card if you know what I mean??

I visited my friend the dressmaker for a dress fitting yesterday. Again a lovely morning. She's got the lining of the future dress fitting beautifully. The only annoying thing is that we have not been able to free my bargain fabric its mothball odour. Washing and airing has not done the trick. She was going to try a vinegar wash today after a spot test. If it does not come up trumps I am off to find an alternate fabric during the week which will make the dress a slightly more expensive proposition (but still not as expensive as a similar one I had seen in David Jones). Oh well. I need a new dress as put simply nothing in my (oh so extensive...) cocktail wardrobe fits these breastfeeding bajumbas anymore. Fingers crossed it works out.

Note - Martha Stewart if by chance you are reading this please please please drop me a comment with any handy hints you might have on getting rid of the smell.

Today our neighbours had a fire in their kitchen serious enough to warrant the calling of the emergency services. All were ok and the house was not apparently too seriously damaged thank god. Little B was sleeping and woke seemingly frightened by the smoke and noise. Which was comforting to me in a strange way. The incident did however prompt a check of our fire alarms this afternoon.

The normally very lighthearted, profane and sarcastically amusing mummy Kirsten of Ready or Not shared this post a couple of days ago. I have been pondering the situation ever since. And have decided I am so blooming thankful that I am who I am and I have what I have emotionally, physically and materially.

In other amazingly interesting news, Little B is just about to cut the last of 4 teeth in 2 weeks, developing a cold and is a bit all over the place sleepwise. He is seemingly in the midst of refining his crawling skills and I am getting up a number of times a night to free him from the corners of his cot where he is banging his head after trapping himself mid crawl. It still amuses me to see him up on all 4s but fast asleep!

I got the call I have been looking forward to and dreading at the same time this week. A child care place will be available for Little B shortly and I am set to start back at work in mid June for 2 days a week. I had been really looking forward to the idea of going back to work. I have been purchasing some new clothing for my return to work in the sales in anticipation of this date for a couple of weeks and had been so excited about it. Time in the real world just for me. Good coffee, adult company and conversation, corporate lunches, mental stimulation and some more cashola to boot.

But now. It's real. "So soon" I cried over and over again on Monday and Tuesday to Mr B. Too soon??? Am I being selfish? Am I making the right decision? Can we tread water financially for another few years until our childbearing years are finished. Will my career bear an absence of 4 or 5 years? Now I am not so sure I am doing the right thing leaving my little boy in someone else's care. Last week I left him for an hour with my mother in law and he cried his eyes out the whole time. What if he does not settle in?

My totally objective unbiased view is that Little B is an absolute darling, a sensitive funny child. Will the potentially dog eat dog world of child care change his personality for the worst or better? Will our generally extremely excellent sleeping/feeding routine be altered due to this change in our life?

I have about 6 weeks and have decided I will reassess closer to the date how I feel about these things. Mr B is so very supportive. He is prepared to do whatever I think is best for all of us.

So at this stage we are set to give it a go and see what happens.

I have been looking around at sewing machines. God it is an overwhelming process. Salespeople seem to all be interested in selling me things I just don't think I will use. And I am not sure how often I will use it so at this stage I am reluctant to spend too much money. As the title of my blog suggests I do have a habit of starting things and not finishing them! I have been tracking some second hand ones on ebay to get a feel for what thing sell for.

I am off to my nanna's house which is in Western Victoria next week. She is now in her mid 80s and all of a sudden her health has started to decline quickly. She is not up to travelling to visit us. I have, in the last week or 2, developed a real urge to go and see her. I want her to spend as much time with Little B as is possible. I am going set with a tape recorder and intend to take as much information as is possible down about her life if she is up for it. She is a very salt of the earth traditional homemaker - great cook and also a very proficient knitter and sewer. Hopefully she will be able to give me some tips and recipes.

To finish Mr B and I totally lapped up Baked Salmon for dinner during the week. I was inspired by seeing lovely lovely salmon at the fishmonger. It was just beautiful rich, orange and glassy. We are growing basil in the garden. It was so gratifying to cook with such gorgeous ingredients. Both Mr B and I felt so fortunate to be eating like kings. Just delicious. I highly highly recommend it even as a treat or special occasion recipe.

Enjoy your weekend!