Friday, August 29, 2008

Love Fridays...

Whilst I have been doing my darndest to enjoy the moment a little bit more lately this week has got me beat. I am so glad Friday is here!

Not one but two trips to the emergency room (one for Little B (he's ok now), one with a friend (she is doing better too)), a good cleansing dose of gastro for me, a missed Thornbury Sew Along and some other bits and pieces have tested sorely tested the members of the B Family this week!

But today the fog has both literally and figuratively lifted, the sun is shining and the days ahead are full of sunshiney springy promise! Hurrah!

Finally we have the realistic prospect of spending some time in our much neglected garden and at the park. Not to mention the chance to start scouring our local area for some gems - it's hard rubbish collection time!! Yippee!! Hopefully I will score some loot like the Motherload Pottymouthmamma stumbled across during the week!

For those reasons I love Fridays! Do join Big Cat in sharing with us why you Love Fridays!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

This favourite children's book

Perhaps this post could be renamed these are my favourite children's books as I could not contain myself to merely one.

This first is a book named Sunny by Robin Mitchell and Judith Steedman. A friend bought this back for Little B from the US as a welcome to the world gift.

Sunny is a little fella who rustles up the kids in his neighbourhood to make up a band. They end up having a "hootenanny" of a time. Whatever that is. It is a very cute book, the illustrations are actually all little figurines photographed doing their thing. The book also comes with a very cool cd of songs which has Mr B and I bopping along every time. It is aimed at 3 - 7 year old readers but Little B enjoys it a lot at the moment.

There are two other books in the series, Windy and Snowy and Chinook.

A more traditional favourite of mine is the Hungry Little Caterpillar by Eric Carle.

In today's obesity adverse food particular times I still enjoy this book which is about the caterpillar munching through all sorts of things including an ice cream and a pickle! Which has got me to wondering as to whether he was actually a she! The illustrations of this book are lovely and Little B loves to stick his fingers through the holes!

A final fave of mine is the Lewis Carroll classic, Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There. My favourite passage is the poem the Walrus and the Carpenter. I am not exactly sure why as I loathe oysters to eat myself! I owned a copy of this book which was illustrated by John Tenniel - very complex, dark illustrations like this one that at the time certainly got me thinking and which now I appreciate even more!

Thanks to Three Buttons for the lovely concept of This is and to Pottymouthmamma for coming up with this week's thought provoking but fun theme!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Thank you fans and air conditioners!

I am finally getting around to accepting to some blogging awards which I have been lucky enough to receive in recent weeks.

Lovely ladies Hoppo Bumpo and Curly pops each sent me the Happiness award which requires me to reel off 6 things about which I am happy about right now.

Oakalie doakalie, here goes:

1. Week one of work has gone so well. Helped enormously by the fact that our little angel has settled in just so well no tears and no tantrums. I am definitely finding my groove and enjoying my two days a week of get out of bed/get dressed/put makeup on/get bum out of house/child to child care/work 8 hours/go to relaxed lunch/drink coffee slowly thing. I am seriously a different and much more balanced woman!

2. It's raining. Go Melbourne's water storages go!

3. I received some lovely feedback from the recipients of the bibs crafted during Bib-o-rama! I ended up packaging them up as a suprise filling in some nappy cakes. Gotta love the good ole' youtube tutorial. A bit stupidly I forgot to take decent photos of all of the finished cakes but here are some bibs.

4. I am really excited about and looking forward to learning some new things, meeting some new people and seeing new places this weekend!

5. We have made plans to head to Queensland to visit some friends later in the year. They are putting us up so it's also a cheap holiday! Built in babysitters too (mwoah mwoah hahahahaha)(evil laugh he he he)! Yay!

6. Ricky Martin has become a father to twins by a surrogate mother. Whilst surrogacy is not a new concept, and can be fraught with difficulty, it can also present people who might otherwise not naturally easily become parents with a beautiful opportunity. Check it out here . I congratulate and wish Ricky and his new family all of the best (and miss him shakin' those bon bons too!).

7. I finished some aprons for two lovely ladies in my family. Matching mother and daughter aprons in fact. Whilst I am rather (very!!) over the spotty fabric I do think they came up pretty well - I am fairly sure one of my models did not agree!

The very kind and funky Big Cat passed on the Brilliante award! Thank you - I am glad that you enjoy (put up with) my navel gazing!

For passing the awards on, well, those who passed the awards onto me are the top three who I would pass the awards onto myself! I will leave it to those others who read, and whose blogs I read, to take from these awards what you will and share things of happiness and joy to you with us!

Enjoy your Friday!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Love Fridays

Taxes done - check!

Washing done, folded and up to date (for about ohh I dunno, half an hour!)- check!

Dinner cooked - check! (Yummy Thai Green Curry on brown rice!)

Uggies on - check!

Afternoon sleep had - check!

Five good reasons why I lurve Fridays!

Perhaps the only thing missing is a good hunk of Curlypops' delicious looking perfectly iced cake!

Do join Big Cat in this fantastic weekend welcoming meme!

Enjoy your weekend!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

You can go your own waayyyyyyyyy.......

Today this Fleetwood Mac classic has played itself on repeat round and round in my head.

One of the main things that has pained me so in recent weeks is the return to work issue.

It became clear to me some months ago that conceptually I really did wish to return to work. I had become very worried about my skills diminishing as time wore on, as big changes developed in my field over the last 12 months. I worried about throwing away 6 years of university study. Perhaps a bit over the top, evidencing a self confidence diminished by time away from work, but there it is. I have missed my "old" life terribly, much more than I ever imagined. I never expected to feel so isolated, so lonely when I took on this job of motherhood. Not in a million years.

The greatest stumbling block for me has been reconciling my concerns about the return to work with my issues related to leaving Little B in the care of others whilst I go to work for 2 days a week.

Working form home, part time job juggling, family looking after Little B, child care, family day care - all theoretically options from which we could have chosen. As the months passed and our talks with bosses were unsuccessful, family politics played out and waiting lists lengthened, eventually only really one true option revealed itself, pursuing child care at a creche.

Everyone in sight has had an opinion. And not been shy about sharing it.

"Child care is no good for one so little - he will get sick all of the time, he does not need to socialise with others for so long in any one day." " Childcare will be great - variety of play and environs, can only be good." "Some balance in everyones' life will be the best thing for all of you." "Why do women these days have children if they are just going to put them into care?"

Worst of all I have been saddened and disappointed to experience the most negative of views from other women. Some of whom I have absolutely no doubt have been in the position I find myself in now. Some of whom I thought I had tried pretty bloody well hard to support when they had to make some big decisions in their lives.

I suppose naively I thought that the whole point of the "sisterhood" was to provide non judgmental support to one another in times of need, in times of questioning and in times of hardship. Not so. In my experience anyway.

In recent weeks mothers group catch ups, coffees with friends and family gatherings (including Little B's birthday party) have each felt like mini battle grounds.

As my twelve months of leave are well and truly up, every time without fail I have been asked, so when are you returning to work? There seemed to be no right answer. The question to me implied I should return to work, not waste my skills, that it would not be right for me to stay at home even a little longer. But a discussion about the logistics, the actualities of returning to work oft resulted in (what I probably sensitively) felt was stinging criticism. I have never felt so reluctant to go out and socialise.

I have spent alot of the time following these discussions feeling like an absolute failure.

Do I not have the mental toughness to "hack" this endurance sport of motherhood. I am so lucky to have a lovely son. I know that some people struggle to ever bring a family into this world. They grow so quickly. Why do I wish to spend less time with him?

Guilt has been my constant companion - Should I give up everything I knew pre baby for a little longer, until our family is complete? Is it wrong to want to have a little time to myself? Ironically to have to go back to my (back breaking!) paid employment to receive a break from my mothering role? To take a long term view of things in terms of finances and opportunities for my family? To want to take some of the burden off Mr B who has literally worked himself into the ground physically in the last year in an attempt to compensate for the loss of my breadwinning income?

I have let anger eat away at my insides. What is this concept of feminism, this theory that women can have it all effortlessly? Cranky that the government seemingly does so little to give value to women who stay at home and women who attempt to return to work. Furious at family members who made promises and then failed to come through with the goods. Upset that in my case anyway, there is not a traditional "village" to which Mr B and I belong, can contribute to and which can help our family too.

Last week we were offered a place at a child care centre near our places of work.

After spending some time getting to know the ladies who would be looking after our little one, chatting to the parents who leave their similarly aged children we decided to take it. Two days a week.

I have spent most of this week orientating Little B at his new "school". A few hours a day. Today was the first day I left him on his own. At 9.30am I found myself searching for a venue which served alcohol so that I could have a calming beverage. I had to settle for a coffee and crepe. The guy who served my breakfast seemed non plussed to be confronted by the teary woman who anxiously kept checking her phone and sobbing whilst gulping down her coffee.

Within 30 minutes I received a call. Little B went to sleep no worries! I never felt so relieved. And perhaps a teeny bit put out! When I collected him I learned that he had eaten lots of lunch and played happily on his own and with the other children. He is ready, I am informed, as much as he can be, to try a full day.

And I am ready now too. To give it all a go anyway. To make an informed decision about whether or not it is working for our family in a few months' time.

Like Big Cat , I am looking forward to Spring. The sun. The longer hours of light. Colour. Flowers. Garden. Routine. Some balance. Going my own way!

Thursday, August 7, 2008


To my darling little B,

Already 365 days of your presence in my life have passed. Most days I now struggle to remember life without you here.

You are a handsome, lovely, gentle soul just as is your dad.

An amazing sponge, an flourishing flower, watching you learn has been an incredible experience.

Your sense of humour is wicked.

Your newly found (at this stage, tongue filled slopalicious) kisses melt my heart each time you willingly share them with me. The random unexpected smooches are sublime.

Your laugh lifts my spirits immeasurably, your cheeky toothy smile makes my day. Every time.

I am so happy, privileged and lucky that you chose me.

Undoubtedly you are inspiring me to fashion myself into a better person than I have ever been.

Happy 1st Birthday my little one.

I enjoy each and every moment with you.

And remember almost each moment like it was yesterday.

I cannot wait for each and every moment to come.